It's always gratifying when regular readers revert back with something that they come across that reminds them of something they encountered here. This one via Anurag and Amita Sathe who saw this here and were reminded (I think) of  this, but couldn't find the right thread to post to.

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TAGS:  English , Language , Levity
POSTED BY Sundeep ON Oct 25, 2009 AT 10:59 IST


Image courtesy Frits Bonjernoor

In a series on the neuroscience behind visual illusions, Susana Martinez-Conde and Stephen L. Macknik in the Scientific American:

Our face-detection neural machinery can be overloaded. There’s a man’s face hidden in this image. But before we spill the beans about its location, look around and see if you can find it yourself. It’s difficult! Don’t give up too quickly: finding the face may take you a few minutes the first time you look. But once you have seen it, you will always find it immediately in every subsequent search.

Give up? Check out the Scientific American for where to find it and for 9 more such illusions

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POSTED BY Sundeep ON Oct 15, 2009 AT 23:54 IST

newslite:tv reports:

 

Separate e-mails from many folks, including the above, latest JPEG attachment from Rajesh Raina, Jr. who insisted that it be placed on record.

Screenshot courtesy: news:lite
Related links: Wisconsin Tourism Federation
World Taekwondo Federation

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POSTED BY Sundeep ON Sep 30, 2009 AT 14:24 IST

Yes, the video -- in which the congress spokesperson Tom Vadakkan gave those ones -- is available -- apparently the full show was available on the Times Now site since last night:

and let me tell you something. I did a little research after you phoned me to find out what is the basic cause of this tweet business and some of the survey reports that I received, was Tweet is a very lonely man and he needs counseling. And I’m sure, you may make light of it, but the fact of the matter is, Jug Suraiya may make a good cartoon out of it, you may defend it, it’s not that we’ve lost a sense of humour, but let’s face it today. He is a lonely man, it is basically addictive. He [Tharoor] said things which hurts people, and that’s the line we’ve taken...

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POSTED BY Sundeep ON Sep 18, 2009 AT 17:27 IST

All right, just for the record, here's the austerity roundup since this and this  post.

First, the Indian Express reported  that in the age of austerity, "UPA Ministers want Spanish tiles, Italian porcelains... "a Minister of State has demanded a new toilet “on the back side of her seat” in keeping with Vaastu".

The austere "holy cows" of the Congress party did not think it was something worth responding to. The party spokesperson instead decided to join issue with Mr Tharoor's jocular remarks:

"We totally condemn it (Tharoor's comments). The statement is not in sync with our political culture. His remarks are not acceptable given the sensitivity of all Indians," AICC Spokesperson Jayanti Natarajan told reporters.

"Certainly the party does not endorse it. It is absolutely insensitive. We find it unacceptable and totally insensitive," she said when asked to comment on Tharoor's remarks on Twitter, a social networking website.

..."I am only commenting on his statement. It is absolutely insensible," she said when asked whether the party committed a mistake by giving him a ticket to contest Lok Sabha elections.

Meanwhile, one Jacob Joseph, described on his Twitter page as "Director/OSD to MoS(ST), MEA" got into the act to post the above photograph of Mr Tharoor showing him "in cattle class a month ago" and retweeting many tweets favouring his boss and suitably dissing some of the humourless holy cows in the Congress. Here's a sampler:

  • RT @murali_mohan: cattle class is a common term. There is even a wikipedia entry - http://bit.ly/PFJlN . we are with you @shashitharoor.3:23 PM Sep 17th from UberTwitter
  • Shashi Tharoor (@shashitharoor) in cattle class a month ago. http://pic.gd/d398411:42 AM Sep 17th from TweetDeck 
  • RT @rahultp : @shashitharoor: The Oxford English Dictionary lists cattle class as a term to describe economy seats on an aircraft.10:07 AM Sep 17th from TweetDeck   
  • RT @rs2802: RT @tanya25m RT @bisprad twittergate is what u get when u have an educated guy in a cabinet of humorless twits10:04 AM Sep 17th from TweetDeck  
  • RT @bvhk: @shashitharoor why don't you present a copy of The Great Indian Novel to Jayanthi Natarajan? Should result in great fun.10:03 AM Sep 17th from TweetDeck
  • RT @crucifire: Hell Yeah! RT @hg6: @shashitharoor proving too good for Indian politics?10:03 AM Sep 17th from TweetDeck
  • RT @abhishekrungta: english humor + outdated indian political spokesmen is a dangerous combo. avoid them! we indians are with you!9:55 AM Sep 17th from TweetDeck
  •  RT @ShashiTharoor Don't let Jayanti Natarajan or any of the holy cows stop u 4m twittering. U called a spade a spade sans hypocrisy9:51 AM Sep 17th from TweetDeck    
  • politics and the politicians are defined by you and me. Why not break the mold. Why can't there be humor in politics?10:55 PM Sep 16th from TweetDeck
  • @nakulshenoy I'm not a member of the congress party10:35 PM Sep 16th from TweetDeck in reply to nakulshenoy

Sure enough, soon there was a helpful TOI report as well:

Sources close to Tharoor said the minister had taken almost 5 flights from Aug 9, travelling to Bangalore, Chennai and Kochi, and on all occasions he had booked himself in economy class.

"The austerity measures were announced mid-August during the party's working committee meeting but it came into effect later. However, Tharoor has been on these economy flights earlier. He began taking a Kingfisher flight from Mumbai to Kochi on Aug 9," said a close aide.

Earlier in the day, the Hindu reported that "Rahul Gandhi’s flying visit to TN cost over Rs.1 crore":

“As a politician, you have a duty to be austere,” Rahul Gandhi told reporters here last week during his tour of Tamil Nadu. But the travel bill the Congress general secretary toted up during his three-day visit down south ran to seven figures, not exactly a sum the word “austerity” conjures up.

The Congress decided to austerely keep quiet.

But all this talk of cattle and cows had perhaps made it inevitable that the "foot and mouth" epidemic would spread. And sure enough, the BJP joined the fray, and its spokesman, Mr Rajiv Pratap Rudy, added for good measure that Mr Tharoor had not only "blatantly insulted", but had also - mysteriously  - "tantalized", a large middle class: "ostensibly mocking their austere lifestyle."   He clearly wanted to leave no doubt in anyone's mind that his parsing abilities are no better than Ms Natarajan's:

Mr. Throor has termed economy class in airlines as a “Cattle Class” which outrightly smacks the insensitivity of the minister pounding the feelings and respect of a common traveller. This tantamounts to a deep injury to the self-respect and esteem of millions who travel economy class. The statement of Mr. Throor gives a display of unprecedented arrogance which in a way has been usually witnessed in the congress party.

After letting his OSD take care of the dirty work, Mr Tharoor, on his part, seemed to have decided to play the elder statesman and broke his silence on the subject with the following tweets:

  • learned belatedly of fuss over my tweet replying to journo's query whether i wld travel to Kerala in "cattle class". His phrase which i rptd
  • it's a silly expression but means no disrespect to economy travellers, only to airlines for herding us in like cattle. Many have misunderstd
  • i'm told it sounds worse in Malayalam, esp out of context. To those hurt by the belief that my repeating the phrase showed contempt: sorry
  • i now realize i shldnt assume people will appreciate humour. &u shouldn't give those who wld wilfully distort yr words an opportnty to do so 

Given the surreal preoccupations of our high-minded prinicpal political parties, it seemed perfectly reasonable to read a report during the day that the VHP and the Sangh Parivar have extended their full support to the hassled minister:

the VHP President said that the fact that Tharoor offered solidarity with our holy cows is  proof of his Hinduness. He also dared the press to show one statement in which a “Congresswala” has called our cows ‘Holy’. He also took strong umbrage at Jayanti Natrajan’s statement calling the cattle class reference as insulting. The Gau is given the status of a Mother in ancient Hindu scriptures, and so belonging to her ‘class’ should be a honour and not an insult, he further added.

Read more here

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POSTED BY Sundeep ON Sep 18, 2009 AT 02:29 IST

Just discovering the joys of Google Translation. And if it reminds you of Hofstadter or Godel, Escher, Bach, why, you can even click here. Have always loved what the first tag, Levity, is translated to: ????????. And if you clicked on this last link, the second post there, you'd  find, provides even more food for thought: it translates "fucking" to "kameena" . (Ever wondered if the film were to be subtitled in, say, English, how should the captionf of that film fhould be tranflated? Nevermind.) I think I like the Dr Seuss parody on that page even more in Google-translated Hindi.

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TAGS:  Levity , Translation
POSTED BY Sundeep ON Sep 18, 2009 AT 02:21 IST

Josh Olson's popular manifesto, "I Will Not Read Your Fucking Script" has of course been doing the rounds ever since it was published last Wednesday. And now comes a parody in the style of Dr Seuss, aka Theodore Geisel:

I will not read your fucking script
I will not read it in a car
I will not read it in a bar
I will not have it in my house
I will not click it with my mouse
I will not read it here or there
I will not read it anywhere
I'd rather be tied up and whipped
Than have to read your fucking script

Read on at Village Voice which also has a 'dramatic reading' by Harlan Ellison

Links in separate emails from fellow Seuss-lovers Pritam Sengupta and Manpreet Soni

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TAGS:  Books , Levity , Movies , parody
POSTED BY Sundeep ON Sep 16, 2009 AT 00:51 IST

Just a few days after recalling John McEnroe's famous tantrums, it was not so surprising really to come across Serena Williams' tirade against a line judge -- an outburst that cost her the match and, later, a $10,000 fine.

Williams apparently said she'd shove the tennis ball down the judge's throat, and later tried to reassure the match referee and other officials that she had actually never threatened the judge's life. Her critics say that while there are many past incidents, they are generally restricted to yelling out profanities or questioning the judges.

Perhaps it is time to recall some of the more famous tantrums. There is of course, John McEnroe:



And then there was the other bad boy, Jimmy Connors:

Why, even the great Borg lost it once - what a pity that they turned off the microphohes then:

 In recent times, of course, we have had Marat Safin getting angry:

And there was Mikhail Youzhny's absolutely bizarreself-flagellation:

 And, of course, Andy Roddick's always been around to provide some amusement:

And there is Maria "Are you fucking kidding me?" Sharapova:

Post Script:

Really should have looked for people who have made such lists. Here are two that Google threw up:

Kicking myself for missing out on some of the obvious ones that I should have remembered -- or at least looked up: Goran Ivanisevic, Tim Henman, Greg Rusedski particularly...

Anything in particular that you remember? I a sure the Amritrajs were too well-behaved to have ever lost it on court. Somehow am missing Becker on this list... Anything to do with Sania? Or has she also been well-behaved?

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TAGS:  Levity , Tennis
POSTED BY Sundeep ON Sep 14, 2009 AT 20:55 IST

 

So you grew up hearing about the insane popularity of songs such as Aawara HuuN in Russia? Meet Tajik Jimmy, in the words of the New York Times:

The rise of Mr. Allaberiyev, widely known as Tajik Jimmy, a migrant worker in a provincial Russian stockroom who delivers astonishing renditions of Bollywood musical numbers, is one more testament to the strange power of the Internet. A little more than a year after one of his performances was filmed by a co-worker with a cellphone and posted online, Mr. Allaberiyev cannot walk through a crowd in the Russian capital without being stopped by fans. This is especially remarkable given the place that Central Asian migrants occupy in Russian society: members of a vast and nearly invisible work force, targets of derision and occasional violence...

...Indeed, the voice seems to come out of nowhere — a clear, warbling Hindi falsetto, complete with percussion and twanging sitar solos. For an impoverished boy growing up on a Tajik collective farm, there was no greater pleasure than Bollywood films, which were approved by the Communist Party as a politically safe diversion. Mr. Allaberiyev’s family understood that he had a gift; by the age of 7 or 8, he could commit songs to memory and repeat them with eerie accuracy, after watching a movie twice.

...HE sang as he watched 1,700 sheep and fed cows for a wealthy Uzbek trade..

Clearly, Bappi Da has one more hit to crow about. More at the NYT: On Web, Storeroom Crooner From Tajikistan Is a Star

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POSTED BY Sundeep ON Sep 12, 2009 AT 16:11 IST

A mental health break for four and a half minutes. After beating Radek Stepanek at the 2009 US Open, Novak Djokovic sportingly agreed to imitate John "You Cannot Be Serious" McEnroe* and then challenged him to a tennis mini match.

*Cultural referece for those not as old as to know:

McEnroe used to always have words for the chair umpires and once memorably yelled out, while ranting at umpire Edward James, during the 1981 Wimbledon Championships:

"I'm not having points taken off me by an incompetent old fool. You are the absolute pits of the world!"

Some more quotes on the court:

  • "You can't see as well as these fucking flowers - and they're fucking  plastic." (to a line judge):
  • "What other problems do you have besides being unemployed, a moron and a dork?" (to a spectator): 
  • "It would be a nice place if you took all the people out of the city." (on visiting Paris, 1977)
  • "This taught me a lesson, but I'm not quite sure what it is"
  • “If you believe that [Anna Kournikova's claim that she is a virgin], I've never questioned a call in my life.”
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TAGS:  Levity , Tennis
POSTED BY Sundeep ON Sep 09, 2009 AT 16:07 IST

If Major Jaswant Singh (retd), the old conservative with truth, can sing hosannas to Mohammed Ali Jinnah, surely some Pakistanis might want to literally sing out in fulsome praise?

Courtesy Pakistan's Express News channel

Bankay mian ki qawaalii sab se niraalii
koii sun-e yaa Naa sun-e ham to gaayeN ge qawaalii

koii to hai jo  wahaaN hamaare taraane gaa riyaa hai
hamaare baRoN ko wahaaN yaad kiyaa jaa riyaa hai

naam hai uskaa Jaswant Singh
aur fan hai wo Quaid-e-Azam kaa

Quaid-e-Azam ke piichhe
usne wahaaN phatta bol le liya hai
isii chakkar main uskii party ke thekedaaroN ne
use ghar jaane kaa nyotaa de diyaa hai

to Jassu bhaiyya zaraa Bankay miaan ki aap sun leN
mere Quaid ke mazaar pe aaiyeN
aur apne apne naam kii 21 topoN kii salaami sun leN

  Full Post  |  4 comments
POSTED BY Sundeep ON Aug 29, 2009 AT 17:39 IST

Objective type questions asked, and to be answered, subjectively:

1. When exactly did Mr Jaswant Singh realise that the BJP is an Indian version of the KKK?

(a) 1992
(b) 2002
(c) 2009

2. If BJP had come to power in 2009, would Mr Jaswant Singh have decided to remain a conservative with truth?

(a) No
(b) Of course not!
(c) Well, perhaps not

3. If Jaswant Singh's Jinnah book is indeed so much against "national interest" why are the BJP governments in states other than Gujarat not banning it?

(a) Rupa & Co
(b) They don't have elections coming up
(c) They are busy watching TV

4. If Congress in Gujarat feels that the book does deserve to be banned in Gujarat, why does the party not ban it throughout the country?

(a) Because of the aam aadmi
(b) They are busy watching TV
(c) To prove their liberal credentials

5. Mr Advani says that Mr Nehru got Mr Patel to ban the RSS.  Does Mr Advani feel that Mr Patel was so weak-minded as to have done "anything contrary to his conscience and his views"?

(a) He doesn't know
(b) He couldn't care less
(c)  We couldn't care less

6. Why did Mr Jaswant Singh stop Mr Vajpayee from resigning? Why did Mr Vajpayee actually not resign? Why did Mr Jaswant Singh not resign then? Would that not have put the party on the backfoot?

(a) Don't Know
(b) Can't Say
(c)  Won't Say

7. Does Mr Arun Shourie also feel that Rajiv Gandhi's "when a big tree falls" and Narendra Modi's invocation of Newton's third law of motion were justified?

(a) Of course
(b) Perhaps yes
(c) Didn't you know?

8. Will Mr Sudheendra Kulkarni now get Mamta Bannerjee to name a train the Stalin Express?

(a) He will try
(b) The train has already left
(c) You think he is working for Mr Karunanidhi or what?

9. Who explained Mr Arun Shourie's literary references to Mr Rajnath Singh? Or is it that nobody could, since it might have required “an IQ of more than 60” as Mr Chidambaram had long ago pointed out? Is that why Mr Shourie has been asked for an explanation? Does Mr Rajnath Singh actually wish that he were in a dream --sorry, a nightmare-- like Alice that he would wake up from? Or would we soon be getting a version of  the Walrus Was Paul?

(a) RSS feeds were not subscribed
(b) It is the party's prerogative
(c) Wait for Mr Arun Shourie's Gang of Six  journalists to plant stories

10. Is it all just a giant conspiracy by Rupa & Co who are colluding with Congress party? Or are they trying to persuade Mr Rajnath Singh to publish the selected letters received by him from the likes of Yashwant, Jaswant, Shourie, Khanduri et al?

(a) Yes
(b) No
(c) All of the above

fhejgr7wb9

  Full Post  |  4 comments
POSTED BY Sundeep ON Aug 26, 2009 AT 21:05 IST

Special Observer Status: How Rakesh Jhunjhunwala Saved The BJP:

For a transcript of a conversation from the BJP’s problem solving session known in Hindi as the ‘Chintan Baithak', please click here

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POSTED BY Sundeep ON Aug 22, 2009 AT 19:32 IST

He's back. After wowing us and telling us why we are like this only [Part I, Part II, Part III], and then disappearing from Channel V and lately doing the rounds of festivals -- London, Los Angeles, New York -- and being featured in The Museum of Modern Art, New York (MoMa) -- as a full length feature film, the fastest draw from the South, Quick Gun Murugan hit YouTube with a bunch of trailers some time back:

His mission: to protect the world against arch villain restaurant owner, Rice Plate Reddy, who wants to create the ultimate non-veg dosa.

The film apparently, as Wikipedia says, revolves around the adventures of QGM along with his love to-be Mango Dolly (played by Rambha) and Locket Girl (played by Anu Menon).

"Karambhoomi mera aangan hai, Terrace mera ye neel gagan hai, Ye poora duniya mera watan hai…"

The troubling thing is that it also has things like Tamil bhangra by Mika

Much as I am intrigued by these trailers, I have a sinking feeling that the movie might forever ruin QGM for me. I hope it doesn't.  Can anyone else recall an ad character that went on to spawn a full movie (after of course that yenna rascala! scene in OSO)?

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POSTED BY Sundeep ON Aug 12, 2009 AT 20:52 IST

Ustaad Hamid Ali Khan vs Ustaad Pervez Musharraf Ali Khan, via Hasb-e-Haal, a show on Dunya tv which telecast this video and apparently claimed that this is what the good General did all the time in President House. But there are others who claim that when not singing classical duets, he was busy dancing:

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POSTED BY Sundeep ON Aug 12, 2009 AT 20:50 IST

Yesterday was Kishore Kumar's (August 4, 1929 – October 13, 1987) 80th Birthday . Definitely calls for belated celebrations. Looking around, I once again found a two-hour documentary uploaded on youtube in 10 parts which deserves to be in public domain but keeps getting posted and taken off youtube (click on Part I here and then follow the links on the RHS). And perhaps it is also time to share that much-talked about 1985 interview with Pritish Nandy for the Illustrated Weekly, in which he, inter alia, described how he once told an interior decorator that he wanted " something very simple" for his living room:

Just water-several feet deep- and little boats floating around, instead of large sofas. I told him that the centrepiece should be anchored down so that the tea service could be placed on it and all of us could row up to it in our boats and take sips from our cups. But the boats should be properly balanced, I said, otherwise we might whizz past each other and conversation would be difficult. He looked a bit alarmed but that alarm gave way to sheer horror when I began to describe the wall decor. I told him that I wanted live crows hanging from the walls instead of paintings-since I liked nature so much. And, instead of fans, we could have monkeys farting from the ceiling. That’s when he slowly backed out from the room with a strange look in his eyes. The last I saw of him was him running out of the front gate, at a pace that would have put an electric train to shame. What’s crazy about having a living room like that, you tell me? If he can wear a woollen, three-piece suit in the height of summer, why can’t I hang live crows on my walls?

More here

Incidentally, for the same story, KK  had also listed his 10 favourite songs:

Song Music Director Film
Dukhi man mere S.D. Burman Funtoosh
Jag mag jag mag karta nikla Khemchand Prakash Rim Jhim
Husn bhi hai udas udas Anil Biswas Fareb
Chingari koi Bhadke R.D. Burman Amar Prem
Mere naina saawan bhaadon R.D. Burman Mehbooba
Koi hum dum na raha Kishore Kumar Jhumroo
Mere mehboob kayamat hogi Laxmikant-Pyarelal Mr X in Bombay
Koi hota jisko apna Salil Chowdhury Mere Apne
Woh Shaam kuch ajeeb thi Hemant Kumar Khamoshi
Badi sooni sooni hai S.D. Burman Milee

The very same Pritish Nandy looks back on the man for rediff (which is what alerted me to the anniversary):

He told me once how he had hidden all his cash away so cleverly that leave alone the income tax guys, even his family would never find it after his death. I told him that was a silly idea. But he was adamant that his money was his money and no one had a right to it, he would do exactly what he wanted with it. And every conversation between us, when it ended in an argument or a deadlock, he would start singing some cracked coded song which was my job to decipher.

Long before I met Dr Robert Langdon in the Da Vinci Code, I had met a man who enjoyed puzzling others with his strange symbology and cryptograms, all of which sounded totally weird and puzzling, but had actually perfectly intelligent solutions. He thought them up (or at least appeared to) on the spur of the moment and loved playing the Mad Hatter at Alice's tea party.

For rare Kishore Kumar songs and videos (it includes a lovely four-part tribute by him to SD Burman), there's of course: kishorekumar.org

  Full Post  |  2 comments
POSTED BY Sundeep ON Aug 05, 2009 AT 19:50 IST
POSTED BY Sundeep ON Aug 01, 2009 AT 18:09 IST

No, sorry if you thought this post is about the deleted mails from, or anything to do with, our Rants & Raves section.

More here

  Full Post  |  1 comments
TAGS:  e-mail , Levity
POSTED BY Sundeep ON Aug 01, 2009 AT 17:54 IST

Ramesh Srivats is in top form again and dreams up the following scenario which, he says, contains not a modi-cum of truth:

There’s a politically charged atmosphere in the room. All the leading reporters of India are babbling excitedly. Two of India’s most reputed administrators have called for a press conference. Rumours abound that a new political party is to be launched.

With Congress continuing to have congress with the public, BJP neither helping the Bharatiya Janata nor allowing anybody to Party, and thinking having left all leftist thinkers, the time seems ripe for a new formation.

In walks Narendra Modi in a spotless kurta-pajama and Lalit Modi in a spotted tie and his (only?) grey suit. There’s an eager silence as Lalit Modi unfolds a (thankfully) small piece of paper and reads from it…


I, Lalit Modi & he, Narendra Modi, have realized that we are India’s most capable administrators. We have, therefore, decided to launch a new political party – Modisattva. The party will work for peace, prosperity & high TRPs. I hereby declare the Modisattva party open. Any questions folks?

Reporter : Hi, I’m from the Pioneer, so I’ll ask the first question, heh heh. So, Mr. Modi, why have you decided to leave the BJP? And you Mr. Lalit Modi. Why are you leaving the IPL?

Narendra Modi : Well, for a party that calls itself right-wing, the BJP is getting too many things wrong. Our terrorism plank backfired. We tried Ram and got rammed. In fact, the elections results were such a joke that the party is now in splits. I believe it’s time to move on.

Lalit Modi : As for me, I’ve not really left the IPL. After all Mr. Narendra Modi here is Indian and he wants to be a Premier who’s in a League of his own. So it’s all the same thing. Basically, I’m a Commissioner. Where there is commission, there there is Modi.

More here

  Full Post  |  1 comments
POSTED BY Sundeep ON Aug 01, 2009 AT 17:46 IST

Operator : “Thank you for calling Pizza Galaxy Kholi . May I have your…”

Customer: “Hello, can I order..”

Operator : “Can I have your Unique ID Number, Sir?”

Customer: “It’s eh…, hold…….. ..on….. .889861356102049 998-45-54610″

Operator : “OK… you’re… Mr Singh.. Your home number is 4094! 2366, your office 76452302 and your mobile is 0142662566. Where would you want your order to be delivered sir? Home, office or the parking of Spencer Shopping Mall on Anna Salai formerly known as Mount Road from where you are right now calling us using your mobile?

Customer: “Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?

Operator : “We are connected to the system Sir”

Customer: “May I order your Seafood Pizza…”

Operator : “That’s not a good idea Sir”

Customer: “How come?”

Operator : “According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir”

Customer: “What?… What do you recommend then?”

Operator : “Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You’ll like it”

Customer: “How do you know for sure?”

Operator : “You borrowed a book entitled “Popular Hokkien Dishes” from the National Library last week Sir”

Customer: “OK I give up…. Give me three family size ones then, how much will that cost?”

Operator : “That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total is Rs 2249.99″

Customer: “Can I pay by! credit card?”

Operator : “I’m afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank Rs10,720.55 since October last year.

That’s not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir.”

Customer: “I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives”

Operator : “You can’t Sir. Based on the records, you’ve reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today”

Customer: “Never mind just send the pizzas, I’ll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?”

Operator : “About 30 minutes Sir, but if you can’t wait you can always come and collect it on your scooter.. .”

Customer: ” What!”

Operator : “According to the details in system, you own a Lambretta 1969 Vintage Scooter,…registration number USE 8999…”

Customer: ” ????”

Operator : “Is there anything else Sir?”

Customer: “Nothing… by the way… aren’t you giving me that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised?”

Operator : “We normally would Sir, but based on your records you’re also diabetic…. …”

Customer: #$$^%&$@$%^…beeep<mailto:%23$$%5E%25&$@$%25%5E…beeep>

Operator : “Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 11th Nov 1986 you were convicted for using abusive language on a policeman who stopped you for driving through a one way, in fact you were driving a 1973 Ambassador bearing registeration number UTD 4267…….

Customer: May I know the number of Mr. Nandan Nilekani?  We have got more than our parents bargained for!

(e-mail doing the rounds, received many over the last month, the last one from Smruti Koppikar in light of this week's poll sutra)

And alking of abusive language, why am I reminded of the viral Pakistani Mobilink MP3 file doing the rounds many years back?

  Full Post  |  2 comments
POSTED BY Sundeep ON Aug 01, 2009 AT 16:38 IST
     
   

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